Features Available In My New Car vs Features I Wish Were Available In My New Car: An Essay
Features Available In My New Car vs Features I Wish Were Available In My New Car: An Essay
FEATURES AVAILABLE IN MY NEW CAR THAT I DO NOT CARE ABOUT:
16-inch 5-spoke alloy wheels
Outside mirror LED turn signal indicators
Chrome-tipped exhaust
Cloth-trimmed sport seats
Sport Mode button
G-Vectoring Control
Manual shift mode
Black beltline trim
Advanced tire pressure monitor system
Tachometer
Bi-LED headlights with auto leveling
Active Driving Display™
Connected Services Suite with Pandora
Black matte-finish front grille insert
Engine immobilizer
Rear decklid spoiler
Active Grille Shutters
i-ELOOP regenerative engine braking system
Moonroof wind deflector
FEATURE NOT AVAILABLE IN MY NEW CAR THAT I WOULD VERY MUCH CARE ABOUT:
Some kind of doodad that would prevent my iPhone from getting lost under the driver’s seat every time I drop it, to the point that I have to get down on my hands and knees in the back seat for five minutes and root around like a monkey trying to fish termites out of a rotten log.
